My Absurd Life

Today's Truth - Some skateboarders suck

Skater boys will choose the most public place to do their tricks. Like the entrance of a busy Blockbuster store. Cars must wait to get into the parking lot because egos need attention, and defiance demands an audience, too.

Cynicism is for sissies

It's easy to be cynical. It allows you to make sarcastic comments and do nothing because, "What's the point? Nothing will change. Nobody cares." 

Lot harder to stay hopeful and take positive action. But that requires getting off your butt. 

Well, my butt's getting pretty big. I better do something about it.

The truth about “less” – one letter at a time

L E S S
L O S S
L O S E
L O R E
M O R E

Less is, indeed, more.

Give a gift, not an obligation

If you give a gift, you should not expect anything in return.
Otherwise, you are not giving a gift; you are creating an obligation.

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Human nature makes us feel obligated. That’s why salespeople bring donuts and coffee to their clients. That’s why non-profit organizations include “our gift to you” – nickels, greeting cards and Christmas ornaments – in their envelopes.

Instead of feeling guilty, you should welcome these freebies. After all, you’ve spent valuable time going through the junk mail and listening to the sales spiel.

In fact, you’re owed more than personalized address labels. We’re talking Morgan dollars, Omaha steaks or one of the alpacas that'll be sent in your name to a poor village in Peru.

Today’s Truth – Identity Theft

Protect yourself from identity theft…
so the government, Sears, your bank, the local hospital, Department of Veterans Affairs, the community college, phone company, non-profit organizations and Lowe’s can lose it for you. Or accidentally post it online. Or take it home on a laptop and have it get stolen. Or put your Social Security Number on a mailing label. Or use your checks as packaging material. Or make it easy for clerks to help themselves to it. Or expose it in some other stupid fashion.

Exceptional Driving

Follow the rules of the road.
Unless you’re on your cell phone.

 

Today's Truth - Crusty Blood

Picking a scab is part of the healing process.

 

Today’s Truth – Sex and the CEO

Peon who sends porn on company email is summarily fired.
CEO who sends porn on company email is asked to explain himself to the board, given the opportunity to apologize for a “lapse in judgment,” allowed to have others vouch for him and permitted to stay because the company would no doubt summarily implode if he left. He receives a slap on the wrist, although not by Mistress Mona as he had requested, since he was a very bad, bad boy. True account.

Lesson: Power has its privileges. Go out and get some.