My Absurd Life

Twilight of a Star

There's a new moon in tinsel town and I saw it during a showing of "Panic Room" on Lifetime. When the channel cut to a commercial, the voice said, "We'll be back with 'Panic Room,' starring Kristen Stewart."

No mention of Jodie Foster, the two-time Academy Award winner with 40 years in the biz, and the main character of the story. Do the viewers of Lifetime even know who Kristen Stewart is? If it hadn't been for Leno, I wouldn't. What's young and hot and, perhaps, fleeting, rules the day. No disrespect to Stewart, but I'm with Team Jodie. She's the true star.

Mad Mel in Japan: a movie poster of Braveheart

 

It's everyone's favorite gay-bashing, anti-Semitic, called-a-woman-a-horrible-C-word, drunk-driving, two-timing, movie superstar! Here's his promotional poster for Braveheart in Japan. Please, do not give the glib Gib any sake bombs. He might let loose on what he really thinks of them sneaky Japanese. 

Fun with celebrity anagrams - the final answer

The answer to Feb. 16th's anagram of HOW PRAY FINER is: Oprah Winfrey. And with that, my brain is moving on.

Fun with celebrity anagrams - #7

First, the answer to Feb. 15th's anagram of PHAT SIRLOIN is: Paris Hilton.

Guess who today’s star is. The letters in her name can be rearranged to create the following phrases.

HOW PRAY FINER
WHINER FOR PAY
WHY I FEAR PORN
HOPE IN FRY WAR

Clue: Powerful force that can elicit sofa jumping and beefs from an entire industry.

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Fun with celebrity anagrams - #6

First, the answer to Feb. 14th's anagram of MALADY UNSANE is: Nadya Suleman.

Guess who today’s star is. The letters in her name can be rearranged to create the following uncanny phrases.

PHAT SIRLOIN
HIT LA PRISON
HI ALIST PORN

Clue: Anagrams? That’s hot.

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Fun with celebrity anagrams - #5

First, the answer to Feb. 13th's anagram of I SO RECTUM is: Tom Cruise.

Guess who today’s star is.

MALADY UNSANE
ALAS MANY NUDE
SAY DEAL UNMAN

Clue: Eight is not enough for this baby mama.

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Fun with celebrity anagrams - #4

First, the answer to Feb. 12th's anagram of LOB ME GINS is: Mel Gibson.

Guess who today’s star is. The letters in his name make up the following phrases. 

Rated G anagrams:
IM SO CUTER
OMIT CURES
OUST CRIME
MICE TOURS
 
Rated PG-13 anagrams:
I SO RECTUM
I STORE CUM
REM COITUS
EROTIC SUM

Clue: Post-partum depression shouldn’t be treated by a medical cocktail. That’s risky business.

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Fun with celebrity anagrams - #3

The answer to Feb. 11th's anagram of BRR PANTIES YES is: Britney Spears

Guess who today’s star is.

LOB ME GINS
BIG LEMONS
BONG SLIME

Clue: When he's drunk, his words can be a lethal weapon.

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Fun with celebrity anagrams - #2

First, the answer to Feb. 10th's anagram of RICH SATAN BILE is: Christian Bale

Now guess who today’s star is.

BRR PANTIES YES
BARE PISS ENTRY
PRESBYTERIANS

Clue: We've seen her go commando.

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Fun with celebrity anagrams - #1

I’ve rearranged the letters in an actor’s name and came up with revelations more accurate than a Magic 8 ball. After spending hours coming up with this stuff, I discovered a site that actually does the work for you. Guess who today’s star is. Answer featured tomorrow.

RICH SATAN BILE
I BARNACLE SHIT
LABIA SIN RETCH

Clue: Recently dropped F-bombs all over a set.

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