My Absurd Life

HOW TO BE HAPPY!!!

How the hell should I know?

Megan Fox is hot in gecko earrings

Nothing says, “I support a sustainable planet!” like live geckos dangling from your ears.

Here's why gecko earrings have become the latest in eco-friendly fashion.

• No precious metals are ripped out of Mother Earth’s bowels to create these unique pieces of jewelry.
• No more lost earrings. Geckos can hang from your lobes all day and night.
• Geckos go with everything, changing colors to match your outfit. (More after Megan pic. Stay with me.)

• They’re free, plentiful and available in most homes.
• Be seen being green, which is the hottest trend right now. Toyota Prius is so two years ago; and it will still end up in a landfill. Geckos are completely biodegradable.
• Geckos look fantastic, which has Hollywood buzzing. Gecko earrings have been spotted on Megan Fox, Miley Cyrus, Angelina Jolie and Ed Begley Jr.

When high school "dorks" hold umbrellas

 

Japanese fake miniature food - The Gift of Beef

The beef set comes with all of these separate pieces. I love the lettuce. And check out the charcoal briquettes.

 

Put 'em all together, and here's what you've got...

The beginning of the end

I’ve seen the end; now here’s how it begins: 
"Hey guys, I bought my first cat!"

Now entering the Middle Ages

My life is approaching the middle ages. But I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a matron who’s melancholy. And soft. In the middle.

Go naked. Dooney & Bourke.

Fake miniature food - Japanese school lunch with curry rice

 

On the menu: Curry rice, French salad (with raisins and mandarin orange slices), yogurt and for dessert -– yatta! (yes!) -- strawberry shortcake with a Santa on top.

A card inside the box provided a trip down memory lane: "Nostalgic Episode."

“When you were serving lunch in school, you gave a bigger portion of curry rice to the boy you liked. … While your heart pounded, he took the curry and said, ‘Arigatou.’ That day, you returned home skipping. …”

(Some meanings may have been harmed in translation.)

What time is it in a watch ad?

 
 
Even a watch must put its best face forward. And that face is apparently 10:10 in a watch ad. At one store, I noticed three rows of analog clocks that were all set to 10:10. Kind of creepy. Only the digital ones were exempt from this rule. Ad folks must have figured out that 10:10 tells and sells time best. Maybe because it shows off both hands nicely and reminds us of recess time in elementary school, taking a coffee break and waking up late on the weekends.

How to look 40 years younger, instantly!

Appear in an ad for chiropractic treatment and you'll not only reduce back pain and digestive problems, you'll be 40 years younger and, heck, another person.

 

The picture of the younger woman with the slimmer face, darker hair and nice tan – more miracles! – is from a company that sells photos for use in advertising. We subscribe to this service, so I’ve seen this woman in various poses. Very athletic.

She is not the grimacing old woman in the left panel who is propping herself up with a big stick to keep from falling and having to use her Life Alert pendant. Chiropractic treatment isn’t that amazing. Except in Ad Land, where Jimmy Hoffa didn’t disappear. He simply went to the chiropractor and came out a new man.