A co-worker can leave the office early every day to pick up the kids. But a single person must work until quitting time, which is regularly pushed back, because there are no kids to pick up.
Single people of the working world: to even the score, try these excuses while running out the door early.
1. 4:30 already?! I gotta pick up Noah and Miley (the Chinchillas)!
2. My irritable bowels kick in at 5, and boy, is it messy.
3. If I don’t leave now, I’ll miss happy hour.
4. Oprah’s on!
5. Mother will report me missing, if I’m not back in the basement ASAP.
6. Driving in rush-hour traffic violates the terms of my probation.
7. I have to pick up the kids my neighbor gave birth to.
8. Grandpa’s been drinking all day and I’m his designated driver.
9. If I’m not home to turn the wheel at 4:44 p.m., this whole town will vanish.
10. I need to take my medication by 5, and it requires a bong.
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