Doing squats with a Japanese toilet

When I first used a Japanese toilet, out of habit, I had my butt facing the side that flushes, as if using a Western toilet. Silly America-jin. My butt grazed the part of the bowl that was sticking up. Gaaahhh! That would be five STDs for sure.

Meanwhile, my pee was going out of the bowl. 

Then I noticed - huh, that's odd and rather inconvenient - the toilet paper was behind me, which required twisting and stretching of my muffin-top stomach. I may have ended up with a hernia.

So if you are going to Japan, here's how to avoid syphilis. Face the side where you flush. The porcelain part that rises up is meant to catch the wayward pee.