Here are more office-related Miss Fortunes that I distributed in honor of the Chinese New Year. They were baked into fortune cookies.
My Absurd Life Miss Fortunes – Part II
The minute you laugh with a co-worker,
The boss walks in and tells you to focus.
There are more meetings in your future.
Buy a pillow to scream into.
Your co-workers bought a gift for the boss.
By the way, your share is $40.
Overtime is a state of mind.
Don’t record it on your timecard.
Success is in the future.
Unfortunately, not yours.
Your hard work and dedication pay off.
For the boss.
You will meet lots of friendly people
Who come to poach your snacks.
Why do those who doth kiss ass,
Move up the corporate ladder so fast?
They tell you, “Do a good job on this one.”
Like you do a crappy job on everything else.
Retirement is waiting for you.
Unfortunately, Social Security won’t be.
When the boss makes a promise,
He busts your ass to keep it.
What the higher-ups see and
what those in the trenches know.
It’s called: Disconnect.
Reality 101:
You schmooze, you don’t lose.
If only your cubicle was
the size of the boss’ ego.
The boss has big plans for you.
They’re hers and you’ll be carrying ‘em out for years.
For people in sales:
You will make budget this quarter.
Sorry, can’t say it with a straight face.
Rates will change. Get over it.
Those are just great, thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Roger Wilbur | February 07, 2009 at 08:31 PM